Archive for the 'Self Improvement' Category

Learn the Basics of Conversational Hypnosis

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
by VIctor Lorentzo

If you have ever watched Star Wars you probably remember how the Force was used to talk people into doing things or accepting things. Just by lifting up the hand Obi Wan Kenobi was able to tell people exactly what to think. This is fiction of course, but by using conversational hypnosis you are able to do much of the same things. You do not even have to lift your hand.

The Basics of Converational Hypnosis

When we talk about conversational hypnosis we often think about hypnosis shows or street hypnosis. Conversational hypnosis is no magic or black art technique. By using some well tested strategies we are able to use conversational hypnosis to convince people about close to everything, and they will believe it as the truth. Milton Erickson is one of the leaders of conversational hypnosis and he discovered how people fall into different trances all through the day. Watching TV, waiting for the bus, reading, working and in other every day situations.

What Milton Erickson discovered was that he was able to use this trance like situations to enter into the mind of his prospects. He was then able to turn them into his way of thinking. He was able to remove their resistance towards the suggestion he was about to present. He also discovered that he could use rapport and confusion to get people into this trance like state and then be able to use conversational hypnosis to change their way of thinking. Rapport, confusion and indirection suggestions are the basic elements of conversational hypnosis.

Rapport: You have probably tried to build rapport with a person or the people around you. Rapport can be defined as an agreement mode where you have the same thoughts and the same interests in common.

Rapport helps in getting the subject’s guards down. In case you strike a rapport with the subject then the subject considers you as “his party” and then it becomes easy to influence him.

Confusion: When using confusion in conversational hypnosis your goal is to get the subject to go to you for advice. He gets unsure about the thing he is talking about and turns to you for an answer. Getting a subject into confusion can be as simple as saying “are you sure there are no better ways to do this?”

Suggestion: When you have established rapport and you have used confusion to get your subject to go to you for an answer it is your time to strike. Now it is your time to suggest a better way to handle the situation. You want to do this indirectly to make the subject think that he thought it out himself.

Conversational hypnosis is an excellent tool to influence people to your way of thinking especially if your way is beneficial to them. However, word of caution here excess use of these principles may make the person see through your technique. Conversational hypnosis is a great technique to influence your lover or your friend to your way of thinking.

About the Author:

How Hypnosis Can Help You

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
by Lina Mavaega

Hypnosis is a technique that has been used for centuries in the healing professions. Today we experience a form of hypnosis on a daily basis without even realizing it.

An example of this is think back to a time when you were driving along and all of a sudden you are at your destination and you don’t even remember taking the last few turns. We tend to call it zoning out or day dreaming, however it is really a natural state of mind and a natural form of hypnosis.

There are many advantages of hypnosis. This article enumerates the numerous advantages of hypnosis. If applied correctly, hypnosis can actually solve many life problems and greatly enhance your life.

Let’s get one fact straight. All hypnosis in actuality is self hypnosis. The hypnotherapist in reality is nothing but a catalyst in a reaction. That means that a hypnotherapist just helps you in the process. The patient is conscious in hypnosis and can end it at anytime as per his wish. Contrary to the popular belief, no one can make you do anything while in hypnosis, which you would not do otherwise.

You need to realize that the conscious mind uses only 10 percent of our minds resources and is our analytical and logical mind that thinks through everything weigh out the pros and cons.

The subconscious mind which is the other 90 percent basically controls our bodily functions such as our heartbeat, reflexes, emotions, beliefs, inhibitions, fears, phobias. The subconscious mind is also very childlike in many ways and it does have a lot of control over our entire personality, as it is where you memories and beliefs are kept. So, if you have a negative outlook that is because it is built into our subconscious mind. If you realize this you may be able to avoid negative self-hypnosis

Your subconscious is continuously being programmed and re-programmed by our self-talk, daily events, encounters, and knowledge. We are always using self-talk even when you don’t realize it, telling ourselves we’re fat, successful, a failure, a smoker, we are what we talk, we program our subconscious mind to believe these things about ourselves.

Hypnosis is not a medical treatment by itself and hypnotherapist are usually not medical professionals. They cannot give you any treatment for a medical condition, unless supervised by a doctor or a psychiatrist.

These days, hypnosis is mostly used in kicking the cigarette and getting rid of phobias and illogical fears. However, many people do not know that hypnosis is quite effective in weight loss, facing examinations, stage presentations and other healing therapies.

Hypnosis cannot help if there is no mental or emotional aspect to a problem. For example, it cannot make a severed limb re-grow, however it can assist in easing phantom pains which many amputees experience.

Dentist and doctors have used hypnosis in place of chemical anesthesia in patient surgeries. Hypnotic-anesthesia as it is called has been around longer than modern medicine. There are times when hypnosis is of use, such as when there is a low tolerance for drugs possibly due to a weak heart.

Hypnotic anesthesia has been around longer than modern medicine. Hypnotic anesthesia allows quicker recovery, shorter hospital confinements and better patient comfort.

Having a thorough knowledge of the benefits of hypnosis and understanding what hypnosis can help improve in your life you will be able to overcome may psychological problems. You can also learn to avoid the problems associated with negative self-hypnosis by learning to use positive reinforcements.

About the Author:

Laws of Magnetic Development

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

FIRST LAW: Discovery of endowment. The limits of magnetic endowment latent in every normal person emerge only through prolonged effort in the culture of magnetism.

SECOND LAW: Difficult environment. Magnetism develops in direct proportion to the difficulty of environment.

THIRD LAW: Magnetic intention. Magnetism evolves solely through multiplication of endowment into environment by the persistent magnetic intention.

FOURTH LAW: Free adjustment. The culture of magnetism imperatively demands that central adjustment of the self to all powers which realizes in absolute psychic freedom.

FIFTH LAW: Concentration. The magnetic multiplication of endowment into environment is only possible to intense, persistent and unified concentration to the methods of Success-Magnetism.

SIXTH LAW: Purpose-ideals. Growth of noblest magnetism depends, in the larger sense, upon general adherence to a single, preeminent, ideal life-purpose, and, in the particular sense, upon specialization of the individual in studied magnetic conduct related to that end.

SEVENTH LAW: Receptivity. The highest magnetism realizes through magnetic laws in proportion as the inner self maintains alert receptivity to the Universal Forces.

EIGHTH LAW: Demand. The silent, persistent demand of the self upon the Universal Magnetism makes it a center toward which the Forces naturally gravitate.

NINTH LAW: Affirmation. Continuous, intense affirmation of actual possessed magnetic power stimulates the success-elements, maintains receptivity, emphasizes demand, harmonizes and intensifies inner etheric vibrations, and induces a positive movement of the universal ether and its forces inward toward the central self.

TENTH LAW: Psychic energy. All personal magnetism involves psychic energy developed and directed by magnetic intention.

ELEVENTH LAW: Self-control. Magnetic energy concentrates through psychic control of its tendencies.

TWELFTH LAW: Magnetic quality. The inner psychic attitude the character of magnetic intention determines the quality and effectiveness of the effort to multiply endowment into environment, and, therefore, the kind and degree of magnetism attained.

THIRTEENTH LAW: Self-valuation. Other things being equal, magnetism unfolds as gratifying, but unostentatious, self- valuation develops.

FOURTEENTH LAW: Use of self. Under conformity to other magnetic laws, the highest magnetism issues only from the constant best use of self at its best to the best advantage.

FIFTEENTH LAW: Magnetic heroism. Self-pity, complaint, and all kindred states, confuse, weaken and waste every variety of magnetic power, while heroic acceptance of conditions for their betterment, and courageous assertion of self as master, conserve and enormously develop the noblest magnetism in proportion to the sway of the magnetic intention.

SIXTEENTH LAW: Action and reaction. Highest magnetism involves not only studied cultivation, but, as well, the magnetic utilization of stimulating reactions induced by intelligent employment.

SEVENTEENTH LAW: Recovery. Whoever, on occasion of any psychic (magnetic) failure or defeat, dedicates the whole of aroused desperation to recovery of ground, infallibly induces a stress in the etheric life around him which ultimately draws to his aid, with the onsweep of worlds, the Universal Forces.

EIGHTEENTH LAW: Reproduction. “Everything is transmitted, everything is transformed, everything is reproduced” (Ochorowicz); in physical and psychic health alone, therefore, are the Universal Forces transmitted through perfect etheric vibrations, transformed through effective etheric conduction, and reproduced in magnetism by adequate and harmonious psychic control of etheric capabilities.

NINETEENTH LAW: Superiority of culture. The crude values of natural magnetism, the automatic functions of unconscious magnetism, demonstrate at their best solely as they climax in full conscious magnetic culture.

About the Author:

Acquire Power Through Self Development

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

It is the natural right of every human being to be happy to escape all the miseries of life. Happiness is the normal condition, as natural as the landscapes and the seasons. It is unnatural to suffer and it is only because of our ignorance that we do suffer. Happiness is the product of wisdom. To attain perfect wisdom, to comprehend fully the purpose of life, to realize completely the relationship of human beings to each other, is to put an end to all suffering, to escape every ill and evil that afflicts us. Perfect wisdom is unshadowed joy.

Why do we suffer in life? Because in the scheme of nature we are being forced forward in evolution and we lack the spiritual illumination that alone can light the way and enable us to move safely among the obstacles that lie before us. Usually we do not even see or suspect the presence of trouble until it suddenly leaps upon us like a concealed tiger. One day our family circle is complete and happy. A week later death has come and gone and joy is replaced with agony. Today we have a friend. Tomorrow he will be an enemy and we do not know why. A little while ago we had wealth and all material luxuries. There was a sudden change and now we have only poverty and misery and yet we seek in vain for a reason why this should be. There was a time when we had health and strength; but they have both departed and no trace of a reason appears. Aside from these greater tragedies of life innumerable things of lesser consequence continually bring to us little miseries and minor heartaches. We most earnestly desire to avoid them but we never see them until they strike us, until in the darkness of our ignorance we blunder upon them. The thing we lack is the spiritual illumination that will enable us to look far and wide, finding the hidden causes of human suffering and revealing the method by which they may be avoided; and if we can but reach illumination the evolutionary journey can be made both comfortably and swiftly. It is as though we must pass through a long, dark room filled with furniture promiscuously scattered about. In the darkness our progress would be slow and painful and our bruises many. But if we could press a button that would turn on the electric light we could then make the same journey quickly and with perfect safety and comfort.

The old method of education was to store the mind with as many facts, or supposed facts, as could be accumulated and to give a certain exterior polish to the personality. The theory was that when a man was born he was a completed human being and that all that could be done for him was to load him up with information that would be used with more or less skill, according to the native ability he happened to be born with. The theosophical idea is that the physical man, and all that constitutes his life in the physical world, is but a very partial expression of the self; that in the ego of each there is practically unlimited power and wisdom; that these may be brought through into expression in the physical world as the physical body and its invisible counterparts, which together constitute the complex vehicle of the ego’s manifestation, are evolved and adapted to the purpose; and that in exact proportion that conscious effort is given to such self-development will spiritual illumination be achieved and wisdom attained. Thus the light that leads to happiness is kindled from within and the evolutionary journey that all are making may be robbed of its suffering.

Why does death bring misery? Chiefly because it separates us from those we love. The only other reason why death brings grief or fear is because we do not understand it and comprehend the part it plays in human evolution. But the moment our ignorance gives way to comprehension such fear vanishes and a serene happiness takes its place.

Why do we have enemies from whose words or acts we suffer? Because in our limited physical consciousness we do not perceive the unity of all life and realize that our wrong thinking and doing must react upon us through other people a situation from which there is no possible escape except through ceasing to think evil and then patiently awaiting the time when the causes we have already generated are fully exhausted. When spiritual illumination comes, and we no longer stumble in the night of ignorance, the last enemy will disappear and we shall make no more forever.

Why do people suffer from poverty and disease? Only because of our blundering ignorance that makes their existence possible for us, and because we do not comprehend their meaning and their lessons, nor know the attitude to assume toward them. Had we but the wisdom to understand why they come to people, why they are necessary factors in their evolution, they would trouble us no longer. When nature’s lesson is fully learned these mute teachers will vanish.

And so it is with all forms of suffering we experience. They are at once reactions from our ignorant blunderings and instructors that point out the better way. When we have comprehended the lessons they teach they are no longer necessary and disappear. It is not by the outward acquirement of facts that men become wise and great. It is by developing the soul from within until it illuminates the brain with that flood of light called genius.

About the Author:

Laws of Magnetic Action

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

FIRST LAW: Relation of Power to “Tone”. The effectiveness of magnetism in action depends upon harmony of “tone” between its possessor and any other person, and in securing such “tone” harmony, on any magnetic plane, in any particular psychic state, at any given time, psychic and physical magnetism mutually cooperate.

SECOND LAW: Magnetic Intention. The magnetic intention (”I INTEND MAGNETICALLY”) intensifies otherwise unconscious magnetism, and runs through all the mass of general etheric vibrations like a theme in complicated music, imparting to them unity, character, intelligence, and definite and enormous effectiveness in practical employment.

THIRD LAW: Influence of Purpose. In the employment of magnetism, long-run purpose establishes etheric character, and specialized purpose confirms that character if it concentrates the general purpose, but confuses that character, perhaps destroys it, if it antagonizes the general purpose.

FOURTH LAW: Force of the Ideal. Idealism of motive determines the character of etheric vibrations, and idealism of magnetic activities determines the quality of magnetism achieved.

FIFTH LAW: Sway of Other Interest. The general sway of other interest in life, and the particular influence of other interest on special occasions, impart to uses of magnetism enormous effectiveness, and not least in relation to self.

SIXTH LAW: Reaction of Admiration. The consciousness of admiration for others, recognized by them, reacts with tremendous power to stimulate magnetic action.

SEVENTH LAW: Measure of the Intake. In the magnetic life, intake of power is correctly measured by output of power: inversely in waste, directly in intelligent expenditure.

EIGHTH LAW: Adjustment. Magnetic effectiveness is proportioned to accuracy and fulness of adjustment, to things, to laws, to forces, to times, to situations, to qualities, to facts, to truths, to persons, and only studied experience can discover and establish such adjustment.

The problems of adjustment to persons are these:

With inferiors, to put self magnetically, without appearance of condescension, on their levels for the end in view, applying then the general principles of magnetism.

With equals, to apply the general principles.

With superiors, to assume their level while magnetically deferring, without adulation or humility, to such superiority, regardless of its reality or unreality, for the end in view, applying the general principles of magnetism.

NINTH LAW: The magnetism of identity. The magnetic value of adjustment expresses the force and completeness with which the individual can identify himself with another person, suggesting oneness through attitude, gesture, act, eye, tone, language, and telepathic sympathy.

TENTH LAW: The use of reactions. Magnetic skill exhibits in the manner in which beneficial reactions are received and utilized, negative or indifferent reactions are ostensibly ignored, yet constituted stimulation for further persistent magnetic action, and hostile reactions are refused, without ostentation, but with determination (if worth while) to “win out” through better adjustment and increased magnetic endeavor.

ELEVENTH LAW: Magnetic attack. Magnetic success demands the direct attack when etheric harmony of “tone” is assured, but the indirect method otherwise; that is, such attack-methods as will secure that harmony.

TWELFTH LAW: The conquest of antagonism. Magnetism ostensibly ognores, and refrains from, exciting antagonism; but, when antagonism is evident, rejects it and proceeds on the indirect attack, or openly accepts it and adopts the direct or the indirect method as the one or the other promises speediest and most perfect harmony of “tone”.

THIRTEENTH LAW: Mortal antipathies. Success-Magnetism conquers the influence of deep-seated natural antipathies only by avoiding their causes.

FOURTEENTH LAW: Re-adjustment. The etheric life is unceasing reaction, and magnetism, therefore, demonstrates itself by squaring with every issue and making of every change and every defeat a new opportunity.

FIFTEENTH LAW: Control of output. It is an important to know when to open the circuit that is, to cut off the current of magnetic force as it is to know when to close the circuit to pour forth magnetic influences.

SIXTEENTH LAW: Concession. Concession becomes magnetic in its timeliness. If premature or belated, it defeats magnetism.

SEVENTEENTH LAW: Harmonic conditions. Magnetism enhances through beauty of personal surroundings, in cleanliness, order, adornment, art, literature, music, and the like.

EIGHTEENTH LAW: Sovereignty of will. is the director of native and unconscious magnetism and the creator and director of developed magnetism. Power of will is indispensable to magnetic power.

NINETEENTH LAW: Energy in magnetic action. The projection of magnetic influence proportions to inner, conscious intensity of psychic and nervous states. Exploding powder in the gun calls for the man behind the weapon, and the soul within the man, and powerful vibrations within the soul’s arena, and magnetic intention within the vibrations, and psychic energy within the intention.

TWENTIETH LAW: Self-control. Magnetic power becomes effective precisely as mastery of self, in restraint and in handling, approaches perfection.

TWENTY-FIRST LAW: Magnetic handling of self. The attitude of magnetism, the magnetic intention and psychic pose, “I stand positively magnetic toward this person or this situation,” constantly maintained, ultimately instructs in all the arts of magnetic self-handling through the law of auto-suggestion, and realizes in practical form its own ideals.

TWENTY-SECOND LAW: The magnetic mask. The mask of magnetism achieves effectiveness when it covers personal states and purposes in a manner positively to attract, and in that manner alone.

TWENTY-THIRD LAW: Magnetic consciousness. Intense magnetic consciousness without thought concerning it secures, by its uplifting and stimulating influence, the greatest exaltation of personal powers when employed.

TWENTY-FOURTH LAW: Magnetic faith. A deep and vital faith in the certainty of magnetic success renders all latent and developed magnetism dynamic, if that faith is thrown into action.

TWENTY-FIFTH LAW: The demand in use. In the application of magnetism to any task, intense, persistent demand upon the Universal Forces swings them directly into the effort.

TWENTY-SIXTH LAW: The affirmation in use. When, in the application of magnetism, one affirms, mentally, intensely, persistently, “I am receiving and exerting power,” he unconsciously calls to aid all the success-elements and makes himself a center toward which the Universal Forces inevitably gravitate.

TWENTY-SEVENTH LAW: The magnetic telescope. The magnetic attitudes, faith, demand and affirmation, constitute a magnetic telescope through which the distant goal of success is magnified and all nearer obstacles, lures and irritating conditions are closed out of view.

TWENTY-EIGHTH LAW: Magnetic accumulations. Magnetism, through correct application to life, not only develops in the individual, but accumulates in his environment, and reacts beneficially without direct personal supervision.

TWENTY-NINTH LAW: The personal atmosphere. The personal atmosphere exactly reflects the inner self, and it furnishes a perfect field for magnetic effectiveness only when the self and the body are clean and buoyantly healthy.

THIRTIETH LAW: Subordination of physical magnetism. In the subordination of physical to psychic magnetism, each finds its greatest effectiveness according to the relative development of both orders.

THIRTY-FIRST LAW: The fixed idea. Long-continued association with some fixed, great and attractive idea sets into operation certain deep, subconscious operations of the soul, which, for a time unrecognized and unmanifest in life, gradually and surely coordinate all individual powers thereto, induce a working of the whole system in harmony therewith, and finally emerge in the objective life and consciousness as a unified, actual dynamic force. The idea has swung the individual, has transformed him, has harmonized and intensified his faculties and his personal ether, has come to sovereignty in his personal atmosphere, and from there exerts a dynamic force upon other people and life’s conditions.

This Article has tried to saturate you with the idea of success coordinating with its necessary elements, and has thus endeavored to swing your whole being into mighty belief that large success is also for you.

About the Author:

Salutations-Why Important

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

The salutation, says a French writer, is the touchstone of good breeding. According to circumstances, it should be respectful, cordial, civil, affectionate or familiar: an inclination of the head, a gesture with the hand, the touching or doffing of the hat.

If you remove your hat you need not at the same time bend the dorsal vertebr’ of your body, unless you wish to be very reverential, as in saluting a bishop.

If an individual of the lowest rank, or without any rank at all, takes off his hat to you, you should do the same in return. A bow, says La Fontaine, is a note drawn at sight. If you acknowledge it, you must pay the full amount. The two best-bred men in England, Charles the Second and George the Fourth, never failed to take off their hats to the meanest of their subjects.

If you have anything to say to any one in the street however intimate you may be, do not stop the person, but turn round and walk in company; you can take leave at the end of the street.

If there is any one of your acquaintance, with whom you have a difference, do not avoid looking at him, unless from the nature of things the quarrel is necessarily for life. It is almost always better to bow with cold civility, though without speaking.

Good sense and convenience are the foundations of good breeding; and it is assuredly vastly more reasonable and more agreeable to enjoy a passing gratification, when no sequent evil is to be apprehended, than to be rendered uncomfortable by an ill-founded pride. It is therefore better to carry on an easy and civil conversation. A snuff-box, or some polite accommodation rendered, may serve for an opening. Talk only about generalities, the play, the roads, the weather. Avoid speaking of persons or politics, for, if the individual is of the opposite party to yourself, you will be engaged in a controversy: if he holds the same opinions, you will be overwhelmed with a flood of vulgar intelligence, which may soil your mind. Be reservedly civil while the colloquy lasts, and let the acquaintance cease with the occasion.

About the Author:

One-Man Power

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

Every successful concern is the result of a One-Man Power. Cooperation, technically, is an iridescent dream things cooperate because the man makes them. He cements them by his will.

But find this Man, and get his confidence, and his weary eyes will look into yours and the cry of his heart shall echo in your ears. “O, for some one to help me bear this burden!”

Then he will tell you of his endless search for Ability, and of his continual disappointments and thwartings in trying to get some one to help himself by helping him.

Ability is the one crying need of the hour. The banks are bulging with money, and everywhere are men looking for work. The harvest is ripe. But the Ability to captain the unemployed and utilize the capital, is lacking sadly lacking. Your man of Ability has a place already. Yes, Ability is a rare article.

But there is something that is much scarcer, something finer far, something rarer than this quality of Ability.

It is the ability to recognize Ability.

The sternest comment that ever can be made against employers as a class, lies in the fact that men of Ability usually succeed in showing their worth in spite of their employer, and not with his assistance and encouragement.

If you know the lives of men of Ability, you know that they discovered their power, almost without exception, thru chance or accident. Had the accident not occurred that made the opportunity, the man would have remained unknown and practically lost to the world. The experience of Tom Potter, telegraph operator at an obscure little way station, is truth painted large. That fearful night, when most of the wires were down and a passenger train went through the bridge, gave Tom Potter the opportunity of discovering himself. He took charge of the dead, cared for the wounded, settled fifty claims drawing drafts on the company burned the last vestige of the wreck, sunk the waste iron in the river and repaired the bridge before the arrival of the Superintendent on the spot.

“Who gave you the authority to do all this?” demanded the Superintendent.

“Nobody,” replied Tom, “I assumed the authority.”

The next month Tom Potter’s salary was enhanced, and in three years he was making ten times this, simply because he could get other men to do things.

Why wait for an accident to discover Tom Potter? Let us set traps for Tom Potter, and lie in wait for him. Perhaps Tom Potter is just around the corner, across the street, in the next room, or at our elbow. Myriads of embryonic Tom Potters await discovery and development if we but look for them.

I know a man who roamed the woods and fields for thirty years and never found an Indian arrow. One day he began to think “arrow,” and stepping out of his doorway he picked one up. Since then he has collected a bushel of them.

Suppose we cease wailing about incompetence, sleepy indifference and slipshod “help” that watches the clock. These things exist let us dispose of the subject by admitting it, and then emphasize the fact that freckled farmer boys come out of the West and East and often go to the front and do things in a masterly way. There is one name that stands out in history like a beacon light after all these twenty-five hundred years have passed, just because the man had the sublime genius of discovering Ability. That man is Pericles. Pericles made Athens.

And today the very dust of the streets of Athens is being sifted and searched for relics and remnants of the things made by people who were captained by men of Ability who were discovered by Pericles.

There is very little competition in this line of discovering Ability. We sit down and wail because Ability does not come our way. Let us think “Ability,” and possibly we can jostle Pericles there on his pedestal, where he has stood for over a score of centuries the man with a supreme genius for recognizing Ability.

About the Author:

Importance of Good Clothing

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

First impressions are apt to be permanent; it is therefore of importance that they should be favourable. The dress of an individual is that circumstance from which you first form your opinion of him. It is even more prominent than manner, It is indeed the only thing which is remarked in a casual encounter, or during the first interview. It, therefore, should be the first care.

What style is to our thoughts, dress is to our persons. It may supply the place of more solid qualities, and without it the most solid are of little avail. Numbers have owed their elevation to their attention to the toilet. Place, fortune, marriage have all been lost by neglecting it.

Your dress should always be consistent with your age and your natural exterior. That which looks outr, on one man, will be agreeable on another. As success in this respect depends almost entirely upon particular circumstances and personal peculiarities, it is impossible to give general directions of much importance. We can only point out the field for study and research; it belongs to each one’s own genius and industry to deduce the results. However ugly you may be, rest assured that there is some style of habiliment which will make you passable.

If, for example, you have a stain upon your cheek which rivals in brilliancy the best Chateau-Margout; or, are afflicted with a nose whose lustre dims the ruby, you may employ such hues of dress, that the eye, instead of being shocked by the strangeness of the defect, will be charmed by the graceful harmony of the colours. Every one cannot indeed be an Adonis, but it is his own fault if he is an Esop.

Almost every defect of face may be concealed by a judicious use and arrangement of hair. Take care, however, that your hair be not of one colour and your whiskers of another; and let your wig be large enough to cover the whole of your red or white hair. It is evident, therefore, that though a man may be ugly, there is no necessity for his being shocking.

About the Author:

Sympathy, Knowledge and Poise

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

Sympathy, Knowledge and Poise seem to be the three ingredients that are most needed in forming the Gentle Man. I place these elements according to their value. No man is great who does not have Sympathy plus, and the greatness of men can be safely gauged by their sympathies. Sympathy and imagination are twin sisters. Your heart must go out to all men, the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the learned, the unlearned, the good, the bad, the wise and the foolish it is necessary to be one with them all, else you can never comprehend them. Sympathy! it is the touchstone to every secret, the key to all knowledge, the open sesame of all hearts. Put yourself in the other man’s place and then you will know why he thinks certain things and does certain deeds. Put yourself in his place and your blame will dissolve itself into pity, and your tears will wipe out the record of his misdeeds. The saviors of the world have simply been men with wondrous sympathy.

But Knowledge must go with Sympathy, else the emotions will become maudlin and pity may be wasted on a poodle instead of a child; on a field-mouse instead of a human soul. Knowledge in use is wisdom, and wisdom implies a sense of values you know a big thing from a little one, a valuable fact from a trivial one. Tragedy and comedy are simply questions of value: a little misfit in life makes us laugh, a great one is tragedy and cause for expression of grief.

Poise is the strength of body and strength of mind to control your Sympathy and your Knowledge. Unless you control your emotions they run over and you stand in the mire. Sympathy must not run riot, or it is valueless and tokens weakness instead of strength. In every hospital for nervous disorders are to be found many instances of this loss of control. The individual has Sympathy but not Poise, and therefore his life is worthless to himself and to the world.

He symbols inefficiency and not helpfulness. Poise reveals itself more in voice than it does in words; more in thought than in action; more in atmosphere than in conscious life. It is a spiritual quality, and is felt more than it is seen. It is not a matter of bodily size, nor of bodily attitude, nor attire, nor of personal comeliness: it is a state of inward being, and of knowing your cause is just. And so you see it is a great and profound subject after all, great in its ramifications, limitless in extent, implying the entire science of right living. I once met a man who was deformed in body and little more than a dwarf, but who had such Spiritual Gravity such Poise that to enter a room where he was, was to feel his presence and acknowledge his superiority. To allow Sympathy to waste itself on unworthy objects is to deplete one’s life forces. To conserve is the part of wisdom, and reserve is a necessary element in all good literature, as well as in everything else.

Poise being the control of our Sympathy and Knowledge, it implies a possession of these attributes, for without having Sympathy and Knowledge you have nothing to control but your physical body. To practise Poise as a mere gymnastic exercise, or study in etiquette, is to be self-conscious, stiff, preposterous and ridiculous. Those who cut such fantastic tricks before high heaven as make angels weep, are men void of Sympathy and Knowledge trying to cultivate Poise. Their science is a mere matter of what to do with arms and legs. Poise is a question of spirit controlling flesh, heart controlling attitude.

Get Knowledge by coming close to Nature. That man is the greatest who best serves his kind. Sympathy and Knowledge are for use you acquire that you may give out; you accumulate that you may bestow. And as God has given unto you the sublime blessings of Sympathy and Knowledge, there will come to you the wish to reveal your gratitude by giving them out again; for the wise man is aware that we retain spiritual qualities only as we give them away. Let your light shine. To him that hath shall be given. The exercise of wisdom brings wisdom; and at the last the infinitesimal quantity of man’s knowledge, compared with the Infinite, and the smallness of man’s Sympathy when compared with the source from which ours is absorbed, will evolve an abnegation and a humility that will lend a perfect Poise. The Gentleman is a man with perfect Sympathy, Knowledge, and Poise.

About the Author:

Fear and Reason

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
by Kim and Charles Petty

“In civilized life it has at last become possible for large numbers of people to pass from the cradle to the grave without ever having had a pang of genuine fear. Many of us need an attack of mental disease to teach us the meaning of the word.” William James.

We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal, and that normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an enemy.

The fact is that no so called normal fear can be named which has not been clearly absent in some people who have had every cause therefor. If you will run over human history in your mind, or look about yea in the present life, you will find here and there persons who, in situations or before objects which ought, as any fearful soul will insist, to inspire the feeling of at least normal self-protecting fear, are nevertheless wholly without the feeling. They possess every feeling and thought demanded except fear. The idea of self-preservation is as strongly present as with the most abjectly timid or terrified, but fear they do not know. This fearless awareness of fear suggesting conditions may be due to several causes. It may result from constitutional make-up, or from long continued training or habituation, or from religious ecstasy, or from a perfectly calm sense of spiritual selfhood which is unhurtable, or from the action of very exalted reason. Whatever the explanation, the fact remains: the very causes which excite fear in most of us, merely appeal, with such people, if at all. to the instinct of self-preservation and to reason, the thought-element of the soul which makes for personal peace and wholeness.

Banish all fear.

It is on such considerations that I have come to hold that all real fear-feeling should and may be banished from our life, and that what we call “normal fear” should be substituted in our language by “instinct” or by “reason,” the element of fear being dropped altogether.

“Everyone can testify that the psychical state called fear consists of mental representations of certain painful results” (James). The mental representations may be very faint as such, but the idea of hurt to self is surely present. If, then, it can be profoundly believed that the real self cannot be hurt; if the reason can be brought to consider vividly and believingly all quieting considerations; if the self can be held consciously in the assurance that the White Life surrounds the true self, and is surely within that self, and will suffer “no evil to come nigh,” while all the instincts of self preservation may be perfectly active, fear itself must be removed “as far as the east is from the west.”

These are the ways, then, in which any occasion for fear may be divided:

As a warning and as a maker of panic. But let us say that the warning should be understood as given to reason, that fear need not appear at all, and that the panic is perfectly useless pain. With these discriminations in mind, we may now go on to a preliminary study of fear.

preliminary study of fear.

Fear is (a) an impulse, (b) a habit, (c) a disease.

Fear, as it exists in man, is a make-believe of sanity, a creature of the imagination, a state of insanity.

Furthermore, fear is, now of the nerves, now of the mind, now of the moral consciousness.

The division depends upon the point of view. What is commonly called normal fear should give place to reason, using the word to cover instinct as well as thought. From the correct point of view all fear is an evil so long as entertained.

Whatever its manifestations, wherever its apparent location, fear is a psychic state, of course, reacting upon the individual in several ways: as, in the nerves, in mental moods, in a single impulse, in a chronic habit, in a totally unbalanced condition. The reaction has always a good intention, meaning, in each case, “Take care! Danger!” You will see that this is so if you will look for a moment at three comprehensive kinds of fear fear of self, fear for self, fear for others. Fear of self is indirectly fear for self danger. Fear for others signifies foresensed or forepictured distress to self because of anticipated misfortune to others. I often wonder whether, when we fear for others, it is distress to self or hurt to them that is most emphatically in our thought.

Fear, then, is usually regarded as the soul’s danger signal. But the true signal is instinctive and thoughtful reason.

Even instinct and reason, acting as warning, may perform their duty abnormally, or assume abnormal proportions. And then we have the feeling of fear. The normal warning is induced by actual danger apprehended by mind in a state of balance and self-control. Normal mind is always capable of such warning. There are but two ways in which so-called normal fear, acting in the guise of reason, may be annihilated: by the substitution of reason for fear, and by the assurance of the white life.

Let it be understood, now, that by normal fear is here meant normal reason real fear being denied place and function altogether. Then we may say that such action of reason is a benefactor to man. It is, with pain and weariness, the philanthropy of the nature of things within us.

One person said: “Tired? No such word in my house!” Now this cannot be a sound and healthy attitude. Weariness, at a certain stage of effort, is a signal to stop work. When one becomes so absorbed in labor as to lose consciousness of the feeling of weariness, he has issued a “hurry call” on death. I do not deny that the soul may cultivate a sublime sense of buoyancy and power; rather do I urge you to seek that beautiful condition; but I hold that when a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, Nature will work disaster inevitably. Let us stand for the larger liberty which is joyously free to take advantage of everything Nature may offer for true well-being. There is a partial liberty which tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real; there is a higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real and by using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best. I hold this to be true wisdom: to take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory, and freely to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual. I embrace your science or your method; but I beg to ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency. So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles.

It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, “There is no pain!” Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist, for why (and how) declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent? But if you say, “As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it, and to cultivate thought-health so that the cause of pain may be removed,” that is sane and beautiful. This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” To undertake swamping pain with a cloud of psychological fog that is to turn anarchist against the good government of Nature. By pain Nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal. The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation, and Will, confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear.

I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against “evil.”

Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness, for it is not needed, is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control and it absorbs life’s forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values.

About the Author: